


The Implications

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Holding Hands, M/M, coda to 9x13, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 14:45:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1189062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas comes to Dean after his fight with Sam in the bunker, to offer his support.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Implications

After the fight with Sam, Dean went back to his room in the bunker. He couldn’t deal with the conversation he’d just had with his apparently not-brother, but neither could he stomach another glass of whiskey. He stood outside the door of Cas’ room with his hand raised for a full minute, but never got as far as knocking. Instead he went back to his own room and picked up one of the books he’d found in the library, deciding to try and lose himself in that.

He took off his boots, but left his jeans on. Then he sat up against the headboard, long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He flipped the book open and started to read. Soon enough he managed to get lost in the story, so the knock at the door startled him enough that he jumped slightly.

 

* * *

Castiel knew Dean was outside his door. He could feel him there, like he always could when Dean was near. It wasn’t like the way he could locate both Winchesters when they were far away. It was that sense that even some humans get when someone they love is close. Part of him wished he was human again. If he ever got what he wanted, would it just feel like molecules now?

He heard Dean walk away as well as felt it. He sat there on his bed for a while, thinking about the argument he had overheard. He understood why Sam was upset, but he wasn’t handling the situation very well. Clearly, he couldn’t see that Dean didn’t just view him as a brother, but as a child. So Sam couldn’t understand why Dean’s protective instincts were so much stronger than his own.

Castiel could understand, though. And his heart was breaking for Dean. Of course, when had it not?

 

* * *

Dean answered the knock and Cas opened the door. Dean’s face softened into a sad smile. He didn’t realize all the emotion that showed on his face. How his eyes seemed to melt and mellow. Not that it mattered, since Cas had not been human long enough to read such complex facial expressions.

“Hello, Dean. May I join you?”

Dean closed his book with a piece of paper to mark his place and gestured to the foot of the bed. Instead, Cas walked around and sat down on the opposite side, imitating Dean’s pose. Dean gave a half smile and an affectionate headshake.

“So what can I do for you, Cas?”

“I overheard your talk with your brother.”

“Yeah, he’s, uh, pretty pissed at me.”

“I came to tell you that I believe Sam will come around. I also wanted to let you know that I am here for you.” He reached out and took Dean’s left hand in his, squeezing it gently. “If you need me, you need only ask. You should have knocked.”

Dean looked down at their hands, a look of pain crossing his face for an instant. It was so close to what he wanted, but it wasn’t meant the way he needed it to be. It was a torture to have it and yet not have it. He forced a teasing smile on his face.

“Cas, I know you didn’t get to be a human for very long, but, uh, dude holding another dude’s hand has kind of a different connotation here on Earth than it did up there in Heaven.” He gently extricated his hand from the angel’s, hating every second of letting go. “I appreciate the sentiment, though. If I need you, I’ll, uh, you know.” He wouldn’t. He couldn’t, not feeling how he felt, but he did like that Cas had offered.

Cas let his annoyance show on his face and in his voice. “Then, the next time you are outside my door, you should knock, Dean. Don’t just walk away. And,” he said, taking Dean’s hand again. “I am well aware of the implications of hand holding between humans. When I said I was here for you, I meant in any capacity in which you will have me. It is up to you to decide whether or not to accept.”

Dean looked at Cas with shock and something that might have been hope. Dean wasn’t sure if he remembered what hope felt like, but he thought this might be it. He stared down at their hands and looked back up, as if to ask Cas if it meant what Dean wanted it to mean, as if to ask if he could really have it.

Cas merely stared back impassively, refusing to repeat his offer. He softened somewhat when he saw Dean smile slightly, but he didn’t speak.

“Well, what, um, in what capacity do you want to be...had?” Dean asked, uncertain.

Cas, having thought long and hard about this moment ever since he’d returned to the bunker, said simply, “I love you, Dean.” At Dean’s shocked expression, he said, “Being human allowed me to realize that I am in love with you. It also led me to suspect there is the possibility you feel the same way. If I am wrong, I will leave and we will never speak of it again.”

He lifted their hands, then watched Dean’s face as he gently loosened his grip. He didn’t let go, but he made it so that, if he wanted, Dean could easily remove his hand. He watched the elder Winchester for what seemed a long time. And for that long time, nothing happened. Dean did not let go or tighten his hand. Then suddenly, Dean’s hand was moving and Cas thought his heart was shattering...until he realized that Dean had merely shifted to intertwine their fingers.

Dean’s eyes were shining as he whispered, “You’re not wrong, Cas.”


End file.
